Sunday, July 15, 2012

Is it too small a thing for you to be my servant...

The Servant of the Lord

49 Listen to me, you islands; 
    hear this, you distant nations:
Before I was born the Lord called me;
    from my mother’s womb he has spoken my name. 
He made my mouth like a sharpened sword, 
    in the shadow of his hand he hid me;
he made me into a polished arrow 
    and concealed me in his quiver.
He said to me, “You are my servant, 
    Israel, in whom I will display my splendor. 
But I said, “I have labored in vain; 
    I have spent my strength for nothing at all.
Yet what is due me is in the Lord’s hand, 
    and my reward is with my God.”
And now the Lord says—
    he who formed me in the womb to be his servant
to bring Jacob back to him
    and gather Israel to himself,
for I am[a] honored in the eyes of the Lord
    and my God has been my strength 
he says:
It is too small a thing for you to be my servant 
    to restore the tribes of Jacob
    and bring back those of Israel I have kept. 
I will also make you a light for the Gentiles,     that my salvation may reach to the ends of the earth.”
This is what the Lord says—
    the Redeemer and Holy One of Israel 
to him who was despised and abhorred by the nation,
    to the servant of rulers:
“Kings will see you and stand up,
    princes will see and bow down, 
because of the Lord, who is faithful, 
    the Holy One of Israel, who has chosen you.”

I wanted to send an update to everyone since coming home... and have tried to write this for months... but have failed due to the struggle within myself. 

As I was reading this morning God reminded me of this passage. And the verse 6 really stood out to me. 

Because I can be a master of disguise and although we have been truly blessed to have our jobs back, be able to live with my family and save money... I have been throwing a huge self-pity party for myself. I always tell myself it was all worth moving to Italy and selling everything to then coming back in 3 months, if we touched one life, if we planted one seed for the Lord. However, believing those words have been a different story.
But sometime I get lost in the things, materials, financial stability that we have lost, and having to start over... and I think was it all in vain... 

And then God reminds me HOW INCREDIBLE BLESSED I AM.. I have a HUSBAND WHO LOVES ME, FAMILY WHO LOVES US, WORK TO GO TO, OUR HEALTH, I GOT TO SEE A BEAUTIFUL PART OF THE WORLD GOD CREATED, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY A RELATIONSHIP WITH THE LORD, and he opens my eyes to see people who have really lost everything, have cancer, have true pain, have lost loved ones, lost husbands or wives to addictions, lost jobs and their homes, who are lost souls seeking to fill themselves up with materials that will not last and people who will one day let them down. 

Lord, has called me by name he calls me his servant, he sharpens me to be his arrow, he hides me in his wings, nothing he calls us to is in vain and being a servant of Christ is worth every hardship and trial we may face. Because I am looking towards eternity and not just the here and now. 

I have no idea what God will call us to next but I know that I am tired of serving myself and my hearts desire is to serve the Lord. My prayer is that everyday my dependency on Him grows and my need for the Holy Spirit to fill me up becomes an unquenchable desire. 

I am continually learning that we are always serving something: either God or this world/ ourselves/ money. Only one leads to eternal life and you will not find it in serving this world, yourself or possessions. The gift of eternal life is only found thru Jesus Christ and serving Him. And nothing He calls us to is too small or is in vain. How quickly I forget to count the blessings. If we always look back we will never move forward. 

Thankful List: 

101: For the amazing relationship we have with both our parents!
102: For my parents opening their home to us to help us get back on our feet
103: For Chris Wooten giving me my job back and being back with my bodyshop family
104: For Steve Hawley giving Tony a job and for the support he has felt there. 
105: For time in Virginia spending time with family and getting to play with Joce, Devon, and Smith. 
106: For Reese turning 4. Thankful I get to see Sharon, Brent and the kids in 2 weeks.
107: For our church Radius for all their prayers, love and support
108: For the opportunity to live in Italy for 3 months and truly experience a chance of a life time. We miss you dearly Asolo and all our friends there. 
109: For God's piercing words of truth, for His grace, and His forgiveness. 
110: Thankful for kisses and hugs from my sweet husband and the coming of our 3yr anniversary=0).  

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